Monday, April 26, 2010

So Long Insecurity

I am so grateful I attended the SLI simulcast at FBC Woodstock last weekend. Darlene and I planned to leave at 6am to drive down to Woodstock, where we would meet up with Kristin (Kiki) for the event.

The enemy was messing with us from the get go! Darlene said she had all sorts of minor issues popping up the week before, and she wondered if she would even be able to go. And the enemy seriously tried to derail me early Saturday morning by messing with my coffee. I had set the pot up the night before to make a full pot of coffee, knowing I would want some first thing Saturday morning, plus I wanted to take a thermos for the drive. Well, when I dragged my bleary-eyed self into the kitchen at 4:30am, I was assaulted by the smell of burnt coffee. Somehow the pot was not all the way in the machine, so the latch to allow the coffee to drip from the filter basket into the pot had not engaged, and my full pot of coffee had spilled over the filter basket, onto the sides of the pot and the heater plate, and all over my kitchen counter. This has N-E-V-E-R happened before with this coffee pot. Spiritual warfare, I'm telling you!!!

After the coffee mess was cleaned up, a new pot made, I showered and dressed, and was on the road in time to meet Darlene. The drive down was uneventful, and we arrived there at FBC Woodstock in plenty of time. Kiki had arrived early enough to line up and get us great seats right in the middle of the sanctuary. We had our Bibles, our books, and Miesta Moose; we were ready!
I was blessed to share this event with Darlene and Kristin. They are both so sweet and so much fun.

Beth brought a great lesson, painting a scriptural picture of what a secure woman looks like. She is:
Saved from herself
Entitled to the truth
Clothed with Intention
Upended by grace
Rebounded by love
Exceptional in life

Rather than dive into all the details, I want to just capture a few of the things that struck a deep cord with me:

• I am SUPPOSED to be a poster child for the before and after – this is part of my calling. The change and transformation in me and my life should be visible.

• Grace was never meant to be an excuse to continue living in our bondage… Interestingly enough, I heard this again in the sermon at church on Sunday. Pastor Craig was preaching from 2 Peter 1:3-12 on the assurance of salvation, and one of the things he said was “…Grace was never intended to be an excuse for us to continue in our sin.”

• When Beth talked about how a secure woman is “Saved from herself”, it hit me that I have been so self-absorbed in the past in my relationship with my hubby and our kids. That was hard to see in myself. I see daily that I have been lifted out of the pit of sin and destruction that I felt destined to wallow in, but I had not seen so clearly my self-absorption in my relationship with hubs and our kids. I felt so tender towards the three of them, I literally wanted to run out of the sanctuary and hug them. Lord, save me from my self-absorption!

• Being clothed with intention, the point that “we will NEVER be secure by accident” was a huge AHA moment for me, and the wording about putting off the old and putting on the new just stressed how much this is a deliberate act of will. Walking in it before we feel it…. I had been waiting and wanting to feel better first, and while I had glimpses of that, I found myself saying “Lord, I don’t FEEL changed yet! What is wrong with me???”

• Her point that when we are insecure, everything comes to us as an offense, just about slayed me. Case in point - My dear husband has a very bad habit of just leaving his empty soda cans and wrappers on the counter. Not surprisingly, this just ticks me off. I take it personally, thinking to myself "...he KNOWS this drives me crazy, and he still does it, so he must be doing it just to get to me." Add to this random comments I hear, and the voices in my head that repeat things from my past, all of these things have been HUGE offenses to me. On Saturday I realized that none of that has any real power to offend me, and in most cases, there was never an offense intended. Hubs doesn’t leave his garbage laying around because he is deliberately trying to tick me off – he does it because he is simply too lazy or forgetful to throw it away. Nothing more than that. I realized that people can make mistakes because thet are sinful, flawed human beings, not because they are directing offense at me. This change in my perspective was huge to me.

• Grace, grace, nothing but grace. Amazing grace, how sweet the sound... I loved Beth’s point that I can give grace away and also keep it. Amen! And the picture she painted of the blood dripping off the crown of thorns, sprinkling the ground at the foot of the cross…. Why had I never seen that picture before? Sin (thorns), covered with the cleansing blood of Jesus, at the foot of the ultimate mercy seat, the cross of Christ? What an amazing picture!!!

• I laughed when Beth reminded us that John is only one who describes himself as the disciple Jesus loved. I’d heard that before, and I used to think that made John seem a little presumptuous, but I realized that he (John) was totally right. He was dearly loved by Jesus, as am I! And you! It doesn’t make me presumptuous to claim that; it makes me a believer in the promises of God. Totally changed my view. I think for the first time ever I have truly truly truly engrained in my heart that He DOES love me.

• Finally, the point about being the exception, the standout, not for bold accomplishments and deeds, but just because our hearts and minds are different. Our security is not derived from the world or anyone in it, and is not altered by the world or anyone in it, but is based on nothing but the fact that I am a dearly beloved child of God, chosen by Him, redeemed, guarded, carried, and protected by Him, His most valuable treasure. What a security I have!!!

And lastly, I want to add two things Travis said…

• We are not a blurry sea of 300,000 indistinct faces, but God sees everyone of us, we are 300,000 “ones” – unique, recognized, valued and treasured on our own. I've struggled with this in the past; the feeling of being insignificant, lost and forgotten in the crowd. I relish being a "one".

• I loved Travis’s comment about “no-one can sing praises for you…” God wants your praise and my praise, your worship and my worship, and he wants it directly from our mouths. Every song I have sung since then has been more heartfelt….

The whole event was huge to me. It felt like I had all the pieces to a puzzle before me, but I could never see how to make them fit. Beth's message and Travis's words just rotated the pieces so I saw things in a new way, and suddenly, it all clicked into place.

So Long Insecurity! You have been a bad friend, indeed.

7 comments:

Yolanda said...

Adrienne,

You did such an amazing re-cap of our weekend together in Atlanta. You are such a precious child of God and SISTER to me. I love you dearly.

Yolanda

michellemabell said...

Thanks for the awesome recap. I was not able to attend so I really enjoyed reading.
(Even if I would have went I would have enjoyed reading too!)

Blessings,
Michelle

Cindy said...

Great reminder of the points we learned on Saturday. It was an awesome day.

The only thing that would have made it better would have been meeting you. I wish I had traded phone numbers with you so I could have found you on Saturday. Maybe some day.

This was great post.

Cindy

His grace is sufficient. said...

Great post and recap of your SLI weekend. Just reading your post has given me great insight.

We will have to get together soon girl. Give me a call.

Kelly S. said...

Great re-cap!!! I totally agree with you about the warfare the week beforehand. My life was upside down the entire week and I kept reminding myself that my battle was not with those flesh and blood (standing beside me). Sometimes I handled it well....other times not so well, but a lesson learned either way!

SO glad to meet you Sat night!!

Kiki said...

Wow, what a great summary of Beth's lesson. I was blessed all over again by reading it and especially needed the reminder that grace is such a cool gift because we not only get to keep it but give it away too. God is so good! I enjoyed our time together and hope we get to meet up again soon.

Georgia Jan said...

WOW Adrienne - what an awesome recap. I have found myself recalling those truths over and over, and I'm thankful to still be "pressing it in," as Beth taught us back in January at the Scripture Memory Team Celebration!

You are a "dee-light" to my heart!

Much Love,
Jan